You've had this experience before, even if you've never called it by name: the same argument, somehow, with a different person. A new partner who "just happens" to trigger the exact same defensiveness your ex did. A co-worker who gets under your skin in a way that feels oddly familiar. A conflict with your child's other parent that echoes fights you had with a sibling twenty years ago. Most people explain this by blaming the common denominator they can see — the other person.

If you’ve spent any time on TikTok recently, you’ve likely seen a "cake smash" video that made you cringe. What starts as a sweet tradition of a couple feeding each other their first meal as husband and wife often turns into a scene of public humiliation. As mediators, we look at conflict patterns. And believe it or not, the cake smash is one of the most telling moments of a wedding day. Why it matters: A wedding is a public declaration of a partnership. When one partner us